i've always loved the word Character.
i remember way back when, in the early 90's, i read a book, while i was going thru some 'interesting times'.
it was written by Bill Hybels. i don't remember the name of the book or even what the jist of the book was about but i do remember ONE sentence.
'Your Character is who you are when no one is looking'.
this one statement shaped areas of my life that needed some MAJOR shaping.
i was 'freshly' out of high school. had a few bucks in my pocket. was hanging out with a group of not-so-good-friends and a far too much time on my hands.
i was making some poor decisoin. ones that i know did not reflect the way that i was raised.
the above sentence hit me right between the eyes and part of me changed.
i was reminded that even though, no one (especially my parents.sorry folks.) were watching me,
i still had my Character to uphold.
did i continue to make some not-so-healthy choices? yes. i'd be lying if i said 'no'. but let me tell you, i definitely thought more about my way of living and attempted to live as if everyone were watching me instead of no one.
thankfully, i serve a Giant of a God who protected me during those turbulent years and for that, i am eternally grateful.
here it is, almost 20 years later, i'm attempting to teach these things to my own children.
"if you can't say it front of your mama, you shouldn't be saying it."
"even when your parent's aren't there, God IS."
these are statements that i make often to my boys.
this brings me to the question of guilt.
at what point is guilt healthy?
do i guilt my boys into feeling bad about poor choices?
is that a good thing or bad thing?
do i let them make poor choices and then punish them?
do i attempt to stop the bad choices before they make them?
what issues are 'character issues'?
of course there are the obvious....lying.stealing.cheating.
what about being unkind? or not using your time wisely?
are those character issues?
what punishments do we dish out for these behaviors?
like with most parents,we struggle with this.
we want our boys to have a conscience when they make poor choices but how do we go about doing that without ALWAYS being that nagging parent?
what can we be doing to better teach them Christian Character?
am i more worried about their character or my/their reputation?
i feel like (especially after a FULL week inside!!) i spend SOOOO much time getting after them about the little things. then i think, are they little things??
maybe they're little things now but if i leave them 'unchecked' will they become BIG things?
do i celebrate the little GOOD choices they make or do i spend more time looking for the bad ones?
sadly, some days it's easier to see the bad.
i'm working on this.
i have so many questions that are buzzing about in my head.
can someone please, take a few mins. and give me the right answer for each question above?
ok, at least answer this one question.....
what are you personally doing in your home to teach good character to your kids?
share the wisdom readers.
this mama needs some good, solid wisdom.
