guilt...

ok, so here's the thing. one of my 'famous' sayings in life is:

LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR GUILT.

many of you have heard me preach this to you. sorry about that.

wouldn't ya know it, i'm feeling it today big time.

am i loving my family well?

am i spending enough time with friends?

i should have called her and let her know i was thinking about her but i didn't.

i didn't pray for them like i said i would.

i eat too much garbage.

i didn't do my devotions last night, instead i played Tetris til 2 am.

i don't know Jesus like i want to.

i didn't do the laundry.

the fridge is dirty.

all i want to do today is watch HGTV or the DIY channel.

i don't exercise enough.

i don't read enough.

my car is too dirty.

blah. blah. blah.  

i didn't blog as often as i promised myself (or you) i would.

i want to think that i do it so that I'll have a running snippet of our life for my kids.

 i want to think that i made a goal and i must keep it.

but come on, let's be honest here. truth is, i've been hearing, over the past few weeks that there are a pile of people (strangers/friends) that follow my blog (those of you who read but don't leave comments!! you know who you are!:)) and i don't want to let you down.

do i blog because the weight of knowing that i may be 'erased' from someones 'favorite' list suffocates me? i know this because i've been know to NOT check those who don't update their blogs often enough.

gasp.

i lay awake at night thinking, obsessing over what i should or shouldn't have done.

why do i do this?

and WHY, WHY must there be guilt attached?

 i feel guilty to not know the answer to WHY i feel guilty.

 

 i must STOP the guilt train!

hop off and run.

RUN the other way!  

spill it...what do you feel guilty about?

and please, PLEASE don't tell me NOTHING because then i'll have guilt about that.

talk about a train wreck

what is character?

i've always loved the word Character.

i remember way back when, in the early 90's, i read a book, while i was going thru some 'interesting times'.

it was written by Bill Hybels. i don't remember the name of the book or even what the jist of the book was about but i do remember ONE sentence.

'Your Character is who you are when no one is looking'.

this one statement shaped areas of my life that needed some MAJOR shaping.

i was 'freshly' out of high school. had a few bucks in my pocket. was hanging out with a group of not-so-good-friends and a far too much time on my hands.

i was making some poor decisoin. ones that i know did not reflect the way that i was raised.

the above sentence hit me right between the eyes and part of me changed.

i was reminded that even though, no one (especially my parents.sorry folks.) were watching me,

i still had my Character to uphold.

did i continue to make some not-so-healthy choices? yes. i'd be lying if i said 'no'. but let me tell you, i definitely thought more about my way of living and attempted to live as if everyone were watching me instead of no one.

thankfully, i serve a Giant of a God who protected me during those turbulent years and for that, i am eternally grateful.

here it is, almost 20 years later, i'm attempting to teach these things to my own children.

"if you can't say it front of your mama, you shouldn't be saying it."

"even when your parent's aren't there, God IS."

these are statements that i make often to my boys.

this brings me to the question of guilt.

at what point is guilt healthy?

do i guilt my boys into feeling bad about poor choices? 

is that a good thing or bad thing?

do i let them make poor choices and then punish them?

do i attempt to stop the bad choices before they make them?

what issues are 'character issues'?

of course there are the obvious....lying.stealing.cheating.

what about being unkind? or not using your time wisely?

are those character issues?

what punishments do we dish out for these behaviors?

like with most parents,we struggle with this.

we want our boys to have a conscience when they make poor choices but how do we go about doing that without ALWAYS being that nagging parent?

what can we be doing to better teach them Christian Character?

am i more worried about their character or my/their reputation?

i feel like (especially after a FULL week inside!!) i spend SOOOO much time getting after them about the little things. then i think, are they little things??

maybe they're little things now but if i leave them 'unchecked' will they become BIG things?

do i celebrate the little GOOD choices they make or do i spend more time looking for the bad ones?

sadly, some days it's easier to see the bad.

 i'm working on this.

i have so many questions that are buzzing about in my head.

can someone please, take a few mins. and give me the right answer for each question above?

ok, at least answer this one question.....

what are you personally doing in your home to teach good character to your kids?

share the wisdom readers.

this mama needs some good, solid wisdom.

smiling jack

there is something SO endearing about jack in a backwards hat.

or little people with baseball hats on backwards.

or medium people.

or grown men.

heck, i love backwards baseball hats.

just not on girls.

girls should just stick with the bill out front.

but that's just my thought.

the end. 

snow days.....

i love snow days.

i can be inside, looking out.

i make boatloads of hot chocolate and don't feel guilt drinking 3 cups in an hour.

i love how happy my chllin's are when they're out there.

i love how well they sleep after a full day of playing.

these were taken this past tuesday......

my sweet jackson spends a LOT of his life on the ground when doing anything athletic.

 (you should see him on the basketball court)

it's not that he's uncoordinated....he's FAR from it...he's just passionate.

he puts his whole body into every move.

when daddy offers to pull him on the sled, he doesn't do what 'normal' children would do (SIT DOWN), he chooses to STAND.

i love the picture below where rye is laughing that he's once AGAIN, on his backside.

oh jack.....

......................................................

again....oh jack.

i love MANY things about my dear hub but one thing that i ADORE is that he does such a good job of teaching the boys how to have a servants heart.

tuesday night, he loaded them up and drove around town looking for people to help.

even though no one would be at church for the next 4 days, the hub thought they needed a little more exercise.

it's my prayer that our kids will grow up KNOWING that serving others is so much more rewarding than taking.

sad to say but i was disappointed to see the sun....

blue skies and sun can only mean one thing:

NO MORE SNOW.

boo.

i went digging thru some old 'snow pic' files and came across a few beauties.....

maxwell~2007

jackson~2007

samuel~2007

jack and kaid~2007

samuel~ 2005

also taken back in 2005. look how little they are!!

they barley come higher than the door handle.

sam is looking a little freaked out by all the brother loving.

little brother is loving the loving.