intentions.....

hi.
i'm traci.

i used to blog. then i didn't. then i did. then i had great intentions but didn't.

and now i'm here.

my mama and i were chatting yesterday about my blog/project 365 dilemma.

she, being the wise woman she is, suggested that i really NEED to be blogging.

 pictures are important too but the words are what they'll want to hear. (although, i KNOW that sometimes they wish i had a mute button)

"what fun for your boys to have a journal of their lives. i wish i would've done that when i had young kids".
agreed mama. i would've loved to read, and re-read about what a (ahem) perfect child i was, the parties we had, the adventures we had with our cousins. the mischief we got into with the neighborhood kids, the lessons she learned from us kids. her observations of what we'd be when we were grown.

(thankfully, i have a good memory. :))
anywho. point being, documenting our lives is important.

sometimes mundane but important just the same.

i always feel like i have to write a 30 paragraph essay for a daily blog post, thus the reason i don't do anything. uhg.

new day.

new bigger (and yet, simpler) intentions.

i want this blog to be a place where we can grow together.

a place where my boys can turn back to when they wonder what happened in their childhood.

i want them to see that mom really, really loved them to the core of my being, even when, some days i feel like i just got off the tilt-a-whirl at the fair.
crabby, dizzy and disoriented.
yup, even then.

a place where i can get a little reprieve from Facebook and the drama that entails.
i want this to be a place we can encourage. (that includes YOU, blogging friends, to actually comment when you have a thought!)

a place to feel 'normal'.

a place that honors Jesus in every word.

hold on....we're going to get blogging. 

i'm back.....moving forward.....

i am going to be a blogger. a full time blogger.

yup, i am.
i'm WILLING myself to be a REAL blogger.

and it's starting now.

today.
a few years back, my sista www.ednieuwenhuisfamily.blogspot.com, had my blog made into a book. it's one of my favorite earthly possessions.

it's a timeline of our year.

a summery of the madness that sometimes (um, always) surrounds my family.

my goal this year is to chronicle our life, daily. (or at least weekly)

since i no longer 'scrapbook' our life, i would like to 'blog book' it.

someday, i would love for my boys to have a hard copy of their memories on 2013.

i'll be blogging the good, bad and ugly.

i WILL be honest here.

i vow to show you that REAL life happens in our home.

i'll even ask you YOUR thoughts so we can learn to 'do' life together.
i will do my best to encourage.

i will attempt to inspire. (PINTEREST BABY)

maybe even challenge you to get to know my Jesus better.

let's do this year together.

digging thru pics.

must share.

my baby then......

my baby now....

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my middle then.....

my middle now.....

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my old one then.....

my old one now....

my old one now.

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this past year, our family lost our dear joe.

as much as i didn't think i loved her, i did.

as much as i didn't think i'd miss her, i do.

my boys learned a tough life lesson in losing a 'friend'.  

we cried many, MANY tears.

we all learned how hard death can be.
even a sometimes, pesky little cat.

gone no more.....

i has been exactly 4 months and 2 days since i've blogged.
after my last post in march, most of you probably decided that i was seriously emotionally unstable  really busy. .
most of my 'faithfuls' have moved on.
those who know me know that we've been busy doing life.
and i'm SURE some of you still check daily.
or not.
time to get you back in the loop.
time to get ME back in the loop.

there are a gazillion and two pictures that i must post so that my children will one day look back on this blog and realize that we did NOT drop off the face of the earth from March to July.
life really happened.

just looked back and saw that i had 27 written but not published posts. most of them are too out of date for anyone to care anymore but what the heck, i'll post a few.........

i'm back to the blogging world.
i've missed rattling on about our mundane life. 

If Only....

today, while wading thru the mountains, and i mean MOUNTAINS of papers in our office, i ran across a spiral notebook that i had started taking notes in a few years ago. (remember the whole being obsessed about note taking??
this notebook PROVED it!)
anyways, i had started (i'm 2 pages in) making a scrapbook about ME.
once again, without sounding 'self-centered', i figured i should pass on some knowledge about me to my children. (maybe someday their wives would like to know. :))
i thought i'd start a notebook, get my thoughts in order and THEN START the book.
well, my thoughts may NEVER be in order so i thought i'd start doing some of this online.
after all, my scrapbooking attempts have failed over the past year.:(
one of my entries was...IF ONLY....so here goes what i've got thus far.....

if only....

-if only i could sing on key, i'd try out for American Idol.oh wait, i'm TOO OLD.

-if only i could relive my early 20's, i wouldn't have been so naive.

-if only i could spend a day with Jesus,would i dance for Him or in awe of Him be still??

-if only i could go to the spa once a week,i'd always have pretty toes.

-if only i could live near my sister,my life would be complete.

-if only,i could spend just one more day with my grandparents. i would tell them just one more time how much they have meant to me.

-if only i could have my boys little again, i'd slow down & hold them more. i'd be more patient.

-if only i could balance a checkbook, ya, don't know what i'd do. wouldn't matter much.

-if only i didn't like potato chips, i'd be a size 4.

-if only i didn't watch so much t.v, i'd be caught up on my reading.

-if only i didn't drive too fast, i'd be later for things than i already am.

-if only i didn't ALWAYS have freezing feet, they'd be warm!! um. duh.