finished....

the family is gone.

today, life gets back to whatever sense of 'normal' used to be in this house.

last night, a friend asked, "what was the BEST part of your last 3 weeks?"

my answer?

just being together.

watching as we interacted.

watching our children play until their little bodies could hardly function,out of sheer exhaustion.

it's been 4 LONG years since all of the cousins have seen each other.

i have made a trip out to Jersey.

my siblings and i were all together to honor my grandmas life.

but still, we have not ALL been together for far too long.

for 3 weeks we played.

first a week with just me out in jersey, then them all here for 11 days.

even as i write this, i cry.

i miss them SO much already. this is NOT the way it was supposed to be.

like a 2 year old i want to drop to the ground and scream, "i want to live by my sister! why can't i live by my sister??? this is NOT fair.i hate this! "

can't you just hear it now?

it may be selfish and immature but that's how i feel right now.

jipped.

please, don't get me wrong. i KNOW that this is the way it's SUPPOSED to be.

i accept that.

but i don't have to like it.

not ONE bit.

we will continue to make the most of what we have but i'm just putting it out there.

this bites.

plain and simple.

there it is.

that being said,what sweet, lifelong memories we made.

i wish i could articulate how much i appreciated and LOVED this time.

this will, by far, be one of the greatest events in my life.

i am tired.

i am sad.

i am thankful.

i am blessed.

40 ain't so bad....

since i have NO pictures yet (sister, get working on that disk!!) i thought, since i'm in a pensive (good word, huh?) mood, i'd WRITE.

yesterday was my 40th birthday.

i thought 40 was SO old.

it.is, not..

i thought at 40 i'd have MUCH more wisdom.

i. do. not.

i dreamt that at 40 i'd FINALLY have my butt in shape.

not. happening.

i assumed i would care that i don't.

i. don't.

i anticipated 'feeling' different than i did on july 9.

nope. feeling the same.

here's what 40 DID make me realize.

life is passing me by MUCH faster than i care to admit.

although i may not be as smart as the joe-blow next door, i have a certain amount of insight that only comes with experiencing life for 40 years.

i realized that my children and family are one of the GREATEST gifts i'll ever have.

they love me when i'm unlovable.

i know that the friends i have today will most likely be the friends that show up to my funeral.

they are people that i want on my side til the end.

i realize that if the Lord chooses to keep me on this earth for another 60 years, i will consider that a gift.

i like my life.

i am content where i'm at.

it is my prayer that God will use me in great ways for the rest of my days.

i have to say, 40 is better than it's cracked up to be.

i like 40.

now if only someone could tell me where i left my white sandals.

they were JUST right here!

don't know what to call this post so i'll call it 'the fams here post'....

6 days.

doing 'nothing' but hanging with the fam/and the other part of the fam.

NOT that it was too cold to do anything but nothing (did that make sense?).

cough. cough.

although, it's AMAZING to me how busy 10 kids can keep themselves.

oh, SO good is my life right now.

a few days back, we were all sitting around, out in our field (nope, NOT sitting on the new patio we put in. go figure.) chatting.

it was one of those moments that i wished i could 'bottle'. you know what i'm saying? wishing you could stop time. that was one of those moments.

all of my siblings (lori/ed ,tim/lisa and brady) were there.

we could see all of our kids (kayt,ben,olivia,ben,mady,bo, bailee,eli,zach,sam,max and jack) playing nicely with each other.

the sun was out.

we had no where to go.

no big plans, planned.

i was content and feeling EXTREMELY blessed.

once every 4 years is NOT ok.

NOT. AT. ALL.

with the craziness of life, time just got away from us. it's not that we don't see each other from time to time OR have the desire to but when one of you lives across the country, every year is just not possible.

thankfully, i have a sister that, like me, doesn't feel like we NEED to chat everyday(uummm, not like THAT happens!) to KNOW that we love each other & no matter how many miles, nothing will change that.

i know that.

that being said, it BITES that they live 3,500 miles away!

good news is, i have another 6 days with them.

tomorrow the weather is SUPPOSED to start getting better so i'm thinking we'll break out the slip-n-slide (blue tarp) or head to t&l's to swim.

tuesday evening we have our family pictures scheduled with the FAMOUS BECKY and then on wednesday, it's off to Caltus Lake water slides for um, water sliding.

thursday it's off to seattle to tour the city.

friday, the mariners game.

saturday morning, the fam heads back to new jersey. :(

oh, yeah and also, i turn 40 on saturday.

i'm ok with that. that just means i'm getting wiser, RIGHT??

surprisingly, the batteries in all three of our cameras are dead (shocking) so tomorrow i'll have to download the BOATLOAD of pictures already taken and share.

until then.....

maddness....

ok,what gives?
a full 2 hours making myself insanely crazy trying to come up with a sassy new look for my blog. well, as you can CLEARLY see, it was a wasted 2 hours.
i am here to tell you, i am NOT a patient girl.

i won't even pretend to say that i am.

this is maddening!
maddening i tell you!!!

please, PLEASE someone share with me an easy, inexpensive way to make my blog cute!!!!

i've searched Google.

i've searched etsy.

i've searched eBay.

i've searched my inmost being.

and yet...

well, you can see for yourself.

still ugly.

so, if you know of a great website that can walk me thru, please tell me.

pretty please.

i'll beg.

and that my friends, WON'T be pretty.

some better news.

i'm here at on my sisters computer.

my one and only sister, ya know the one that was going to help me work on my blog tonight.

yup, the same one that is now downstairs, snuggling with her hub,watching a movie.

go figure.

she'd rather do that then sit here and listen to me spew out unnecessary words about my dumb blog.

a lot of nerve that sister of mine.

anywho...

as i was saying, better news....

i'm at my sisters house!!!!!

i love it here.

i love her family.

i love her home.

and yes, i love her new fancy, smacy pool.

it makes me love her more.

i guess i'm shallow like that.

oh, and she takes me shopping.

and lets me sleep til 11:30!!!

i did that today. for the first time since 1990.

and i liked it.

yup, i liked it.

sisters are also good for talks that you wouldn't just have with any old joe off the street.

we do that.

we talk about things that only sisters should.

you know, important things like should one REALLY wear THAT in public.

or....

oh, ya, if i told you what else we talked about, you'd think that YOU and I are sisters

and

since we ARE NOT,

i WON'T tell you.

trust me, there's good sister talk going on.

i like my sister.

i not only love her but i really like her too.

she's real.

she's funny.

and she thinks i'm funny too.

that's reason enough to keep her around. :)

i don't have enough hours in my day to tell you all the wonderful things about her but trust me,

she's the whip cream on top of my mocha shake.

and she's that sweet. i need to dedicate a WHOLE, big fat blog post about HER!

it will be worth the read.

my kit has now officially graduated from high school. she was so beautiful standing up there with her classmates. all 5 of them. 5 other GIRLS. yuppers, she graduated in a class of 6....and if you ask me, she was the best. :) in the fall she will be heading off to college where she will study to be a pediatric oncology nurse. bless her.

she's awesome.

i'm saving another post for her too.

she's worthy of her own post.

alright, i'm going to see if i can hit the hay and quick fall asleep before i've been awake for 12 hours. how pathetic is that???

new jersey vacation pictures to be posted tomorrow, on my ugly blog.

stay tuned,if you dare.