since i'm asking for advice, thought i'd throw this one out there.
we are searching for the PERFECT solution to get our children to be just a tad more helpful around here! (cuz, ya know, if we find the perfect one, my children are all the sudden going to want to DO their chores, with NO COMPLAINING! ya, and pigs fly!)
anywho....
i think we've tried it all.
-the tickets. (earn so many, get stuff)
-we've done the charts. all different colored, thinking that the prettier i make them...ah, ya, not happening.
-i am not afraid to admit, we're not even above bribing. yes, you read it right. we bribe.
still nothing.
-we've done the 'time' thing. "alright boys, i'm giving you 10 mins. and this had all better be clean or i take all the toys away and give them to children that will take care AND appreciate them"!!. threat,threat,threat. come on,moms,you've ALL said THAT at one point.
today, a job that should have taken about 5 mins. took 45. i'm not kidding. 45 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like we don't ask much of them. i don't make them wash toliets, change their sheets or even put away most of their laundry. after all, kids must be kids, HOWEVER, how do you teach them good work ethics and yet, let them be little? at this age, what should we expect of them? cleaning their rooms usually consists of them throwing most of their worldly possessions under their beds or in their closets. i hate being this mother that comes behind them and says "sorry babe, you didn't do a good enough job. do it again". i want to teach them to not do a 'half-way' job. i hate it when things get MOSTLY done. BUT i also want them to feel like the job they do is ok. i always tell them "do a job you're proud of."
don't get me wrong. they work. earlier this week, they made me SO proud. together, the three of them rid the yard of all waste (that would be sticks and grass). sam drove the mower with the trailer and the other two loaded. they laughed and worked together as a team. of course, lame mom that i am, i didn't bother to go get my camera. for me, it will cemented into my memory as one of those sweet childhood memories of them. i told them over and over again how proud i was of them! all i had to pay them was a Popsicle. such joy. :)
so, please all you wonderful parents out there. what are some of your great ideas?? what little tricks do you use to Get the job done??
5 comments :
Zero advice from me as my chicklets are too little, but curious to see what everyone else says...
I like to call it "creative coercion" rather than bribing...but when you have all the answers, please pass them along to me! I'm sure you'll have it all figured out before I do!! :)
big sister with older kids=really great advice, right? HA!! you just go on being the terrific mother you are-they'll turn out great. and hey, if they're pigs when they grow up and get married, the worst thing that can happen is that their wives HATE THEIR MOTHER-IN-LAW! -it could my situation where i complain b/c my MIL taught them way too well...it wouldn't kill me to have a husband that's a little bit of a slob, ya know? anyway, when you find that perfect advice (and i'll keep checking back) pass it on...and you'll have to forward it to every mother out there b/c we're all looking for the perfect answer!
fyi: popsicles work for me too...just make it a fudge bar!
You don't have the solution, your "commenters" don't and neither do I? How did they do it in the old days? I guess if you didn't work you didn't eat, but I think CPS gets involved with that one! Go to Family Life Today and do a search. I always love their advice and they have great books too! I feel like I've really missed the boat on this one. Sorry!
Wish you would have called on the bunco anyway as we ended up being short one person!!
I still think you should come to the show. There are some different ones coming up that I can tell you about too, but the "chicks" is the best one!! Send me a picture of what you want, because I have no clue what you're talking about!!!!
I'll bring your book back soon!
I don't have great advice and didn't have success getting my kids to be cheerful chore-doers -- but it did seem to help when I reminded them, "You don't have to like it; you just have to do it."
Another dirty little secret about my household was that though I expected the kids to take care of their property, I didn't make them clean their rooms regularly. I figured that this was their "home" and domain. They needed to be able to find their stuff, and if it got broken, lost, etc. that was their tough luck (those natural consequenses!) -- but I didn't care what the room looked like. Eventually, they got sick of the mess, and would clean it up themselves...One caveat there: I did this when they were older (say Sam's age). Early on was training time about picking up and tidying things...
I have to say that both Dillon and Caitlin have pretty tidy homes, probably mostly because we encouraged them to like order, and because of their personalities. :D Jess is still a bit untidy, but being back in a room after being in a dorm does that to you! :D
One last piece of advice is to let them suffer a little at their work! I wasn't so good at that (understatement!) but I see now how it's better to "suffer" doing chores, than to not know how to suffer in pursuit of your goals...
Post a Comment