guilt...

ok, so here's the thing. one of my 'famous' sayings in life is:

LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR GUILT.

many of you have heard me preach this to you. sorry about that.

wouldn't ya know it, i'm feeling it today big time.

am i loving my family well?

am i spending enough time with friends?

i should have called her and let her know i was thinking about her but i didn't.

i didn't pray for them like i said i would.

i eat too much garbage.

i didn't do my devotions last night, instead i played Tetris til 2 am.

i don't know Jesus like i want to.

i didn't do the laundry.

the fridge is dirty.

all i want to do today is watch HGTV or the DIY channel.

i don't exercise enough.

i don't read enough.

my car is too dirty.

blah. blah. blah.  

i didn't blog as often as i promised myself (or you) i would.

i want to think that i do it so that I'll have a running snippet of our life for my kids.

 i want to think that i made a goal and i must keep it.

but come on, let's be honest here. truth is, i've been hearing, over the past few weeks that there are a pile of people (strangers/friends) that follow my blog (those of you who read but don't leave comments!! you know who you are!:)) and i don't want to let you down.

do i blog because the weight of knowing that i may be 'erased' from someones 'favorite' list suffocates me? i know this because i've been know to NOT check those who don't update their blogs often enough.

gasp.

i lay awake at night thinking, obsessing over what i should or shouldn't have done.

why do i do this?

and WHY, WHY must there be guilt attached?

 i feel guilty to not know the answer to WHY i feel guilty.

 

 i must STOP the guilt train!

hop off and run.

RUN the other way!  

spill it...what do you feel guilty about?

and please, PLEASE don't tell me NOTHING because then i'll have guilt about that.

talk about a train wreck